have you ever heard the wolf cry, to the blue corn moon...

well how about hearing a wolf howl with the passing sirens because she thinks that they're her friends?

this is pretty much my favorite thing, ever...

i had to video this somewhat secretly, because she gets very self conscious and embarrassed if she knows people are watching her do it.

by this time tomorrow...

it will be 2010

it feels like time is moving simultaneously too quickly and too slowly. some minutes drag on forever, to the point that makes me wish that i was already in california, getting settled in to wherever i end up living. but on the other hand, i am leaving the place that i have called home for the past seven years in a little over two weeks, which makes that period of time seem monumentally short. all i can hope for, is that when the day comes that i have to leave, i'll still feel as ready as i do right now...

a sigh of relief...

is anyone else really grateful that this year is almost over?

i know i am....

bring it on california.

where are you christmas?

this year's christmas was spent in hawaii, not unlike the past five years or so. i'm pretty much used to spending it sans family, which some people may look at as 'sad', but for me, it has always been more pleasurable to spend it with what friends i have had out here than to go and spend it with my resentful mother...but i digress. this year was just another sign, in a long line of signals from the cosmos that i should leave hawaii. don't get me wrong, i love hawaii, it has been a great place to live, and i feel truly blessed to have had the opportunity to be here for as long as i have, but this year's christmas felt...different. in addition to apparently not having any job karma coming my way, i also have no housing karma-even though over the years i have let countless number of people crash at my place, even if they were people that i didn't know at all. when it comes down to it, if people are really in need, i have no problem helping them out. now that i have been, technically, homeless since the 19th, i have not been able to find a solid place that i can stay at.

i guess i just expect more from people. it's not because i feel entitled, but it's the fact that i feel that they should dip into their compassion for others, especially around the holidays, in a predominantly lds church community...

in light of certain recent events, this year has gone to crap. and i keep telling myself that next year will be better. however, that's what i said last year, and i've tried to keep an optimistic attitude, so it's not a self fulfilling prophecy. so here's hoping that this year will be better than the last...

it's the end of an era...

it's official. i have a ticket. i've made appointments at the vet for both animals. i have a quasi job offer.

so for those of you that i haven't told, i'm moving to the san francisco area on january 16th. as for you hawaii folk, let's hang out before i head back to the mainland!!!!

where's your favorite place to eat on the north shore?

so i'm writing for this website now called the examiner, and i am their 'north shore restaurant examiner'. this means that i basically write reviews for any restaurants that i choose, within the boundaries of laie/hauula to wahiawa.

so where is your favorite place to eat? if you tell me, you might see it featured here...

eddie would go....

here's a taste of what was going on at waimea today:

20-40 foot faces

this is how some people watch the eddie:

next up, pipe...

i guess size really does matter...

eddie was called off today-it was a bit too small. hopefully it will be on tomorrow. traffic, however, was INSANE. it took an hour to get from haleiwa to shark's cove.

pity, party of one...

okay so the job search has been going on for about two months now, to no avail, and in addition to driving myself crazy, i am sure my constant presence at home is driving my roommates crazy too. i hate this blasted economy. i wish i had graduated 10 years earlier, when having a bachelor's degree actually meant something. i have been applying to anywhere between 20-30 places, both in hawaii and in portland, everyday, and the only responses i have managed to solicit are ones that seem VERY sketchy. for example, one company wanted me to use their company's service to check my credit report in order to make sure that i was a 'reliable and trustworthy person'.

plus, it's getting harder and harder to get excited about jobs that i see postings for.  i am tired of being disappointed, and turned down by canned responses that go something to the effect of 'after reviewing your resume, you seem very qualified, but not quite right for this job', and if it's a job that i was really stoked on, then i get twice as mad.  

during the two years i worked at nsmh i hired pretty much anyone that came to me asking if we were hiring, so long as i knew and trusted them.  even when i was at ola,  i lobbied for my friends to get hired and always put in a good word.  where is all that job karma now?  not that i always expect things in return for doing a good deed, but i have always tried to help people whenever i could, so i feel like the universe could at least throw me a bone and guide me as to whether i should keep looking for a job here, or just take a huge leap of faith and go to portland...

not that i'm not enjoying my little hiatus from work, and i'm sure i'll bitch and moan about wanting a break once i'm employed agian...but it's kind of boring to be home with nothing to do but apply for an endless stream of jobs that i may or may not actually want to do. though the animals do keep me occupied, and so does tidying up after my roommates, but i miss working.  i like going out and earning money.  it makes me feel like i have purpose in my life, and that i'm not just floating.  plus, since i no longer need to wake up early in the morning, i don't, which is really throwing off my sleeping pattern, since i just stay up really late every night, knowing that i don't have to be anywhere in the morning.  although my messed up sleeping schedule did remind me of a great quote from one of my favorite shows:

carrie:  you're late

big:  no i'm not.  i'm on london time.

carrie:  london is five hours ahead.

big:  well then i guess i'm really fucking late.

i guess for now i'll just focus on making a copious amount of cookies to send out for the holidays.  that is if my beloved dog will stop eating the butter i set out on the counter to soften...

everything must go...

just a reminder, to those of you who happen to live on oahu, that kathleen and i will be having a huge yard sale this saturday-rain or shine.  (though hopefully it will be more shine than rain...)

come help kathleen, and possibly me, get to portland!!!!!!!!!!

here are a few of the items up for sale:

ironing board that hangs over the door-  $10

digital camera (nikon coolpix s9)- $50

window air conditioner 5000 btu-$50

flour and sugar containers- $3 each or both for $5

toaster oven- $15

all prices are negotiable/obo

did i mention i hate friday the 13th?

not that i necessarily believe in superstitions, but when i was chasing after my dog at 2:30 in the morning, in the rain, i may have been converted...

because i fell through the porch once i got back to the house, and it now looks like this:

and this is what my leg looked like a few days later:

being w.t. and the usual suspects...

so we had a yard sale last saturday.  and it looked like this:

could we be more white trash?

i have to say that the whole yard sale brought out all the usual suspects.

there was the lady who came early, bought one thing for two dollars, and paid with a fifty dollar bill.

the awkward lady that bought a lot of stuff, and had to pay partly in change.

the bossy lady that made her kids get out of the car and bring stuff up to her so that she could see it before buying it.

and various other enjoyable characters that came to see if they could find any hidden gems amongst the stuff we were selling.  

i hope next week is just as good...

would you still love me if i lived in one of these?

cause it might happen after we get kicked out of our house at the end of december.

the halloween equivalent of a lump of coal...

i was browsing the bonappetit website and came across this lovely little list...

The 10 Worst Halloween Candies of All Time

1. Candy Corn. This candy also made my list of The 10 Best Halloween Candies. But hear me out: The holiday's superlative sweet will quickly turn against you if you dare consume more than five.  And you will.  Forget all the sultry French Maids strolling about--these are Halloween's true femme fatales.  

2. Circus Peanuts - It's easy to think of these as the ultimate Halloween candy because they're orange, they have a fun shape, and they were enjoyed by your grandparents' grandparents' grandparents. Do not be fooled. These aberrations are not even flavored as peanuts, but as bananas. The only similarity this candy has to peanuts is their shape--the empty shell that covers seedy roadhouse bar floors and supplies the manufacture of wallboard. This is pretty much how circus peanuts taste as well: like wallboard soaked in artificial banana flavoring. The only likely circus association is the bygone freak show, where I imagine the Circus Peanut was displayed amongst other worldly anomalies like the four-headed goat and conjoined bearded lady, taunted by children, and perhaps pelted with real peanuts.  And though they've stood the test of time, so have Palmetto bugs.  

3. Raisins.  You may think you're helping to neutralize widespread early-onset diabetes by handing out raisins on Halloween. But raisins are mostly sugar.  That, combined with their sticky, enamel-clinging consistency, and you've created a veritable fairground for bacteria.   Kids' teeth will decay alongside your popularity.  Everybody loses.

4. Smarties. These are on the worst list, not because kids don't enjoy tiny discs of pure sugar, but because for every five pounds of candy a kid collects, two pounds will be Smarties.  Also, these days there are hundreds of YouTube videos of kids demonstrating how to "smoke Smarties" by crushing them up and inhaling the powder.  We cannot endorse this insanity.

5. Necco Wafers. Necco Wafers are like the Smarties of 1847, when the nation's scientists were still figuring out fun and flavor.  They look like slivers of sidewalk chalk, but don't taste quite as good.

6. Werther's Original. The original butterscotch sucker is not to be confused with those legions of sad sack counterfeit Werther's imitators.  Just kidding, there are none.  This is because candy manufacturers are interested in profit, and not some fallacious nostalgia to which adults feel little connection, let alone their kids.

7. Plain Hershey's.  Kids might not care much for cacao percentage or bean origin, but they do care about boringness.

8. Dum Dum Pops.  Have you noticed that Dum Dum rhymes with humdrum?  Though these lollipops are the exact size and shape of Bob Barker's microphone from when he hosted The Price Is Right, kids generally lost interest after his retirement.

9. Milk Duds. Consider it a red flag when a food item puts "dud" right in its name.

10. Tootsie Rolls.  Are these supposed to taste like chocolate!?  It's trick or treat, not both.  Give me a candy I can use!

happy halloween!

social suicide hallway...

today i went to the byuh library, which used to be the hub for student activity during the week...and i have to say say, that out of the 70 some odd computers that sat in the main area, i recognized ZERO of the people on them. i am old. and out of touch with the current student body. i can't say that it bothered me, and it probably allowed me to become much more productive than i would have been before, when it was easy to be distracted by seeing people that i knew.

but then again, it is a little depressing to pass by the study rooms and not have nate fishler doing something random, or to not have the piranha house boys huddled around a computer watching a surf video on youtube. and sometimes, i have to admit, i miss the awkwardness of social suicide hallway, where you see someone that you know at the other end, and then you wave and say hi too soon, but then it's awkward for the next twenty feet as you're still heading towards each other?

i love it. awkward moments define my life.

the afterboom...and a shameless plug

i have been fervently searching jobs on craigslist, updating my resume, and tweeking my cover letter ever so slightly for each particular job so that someone, somewhere will want to hire me.  and as many of you may already know, i have gotten one little nibble....in portland.  i also might be cooking for this group of people who need someone 4 days a week until the end of november. 

more updates as the job search unfolds...

until then, make sure you go out and buy a copy of all the apparatus' new full length cd, 'lawless seas' on itunes or through any of their dashing band members!

here's a taste:

the price of libel and other such accusations...

apparently my readership stretches farther than i ever would have imagined.  and on friday i met the consequences of that influence.  am i sorry that i posted what i did?  not in the least.  i am a firm believer in both freedom of speech and lack of censorship.  i stand by everything that i post and am not willing to compromise any of its contents simply because they make someone else feel uncomfortable.  am i not allowed to have my own opinions?  while i realize that this is a public forum, this is also my outlet for when i am feeling frustrated.  in addition, it is comforting to know that when i post, others respond to it.  whether they have gone through the same thing and are empathizing with what i am feeling, or if it ruffles their feathers, isn't that what good journalism is all about?   and to be honest, if you don't like what you see, don't read it...and kiss my ass.

dear ann/abby or anyone else that will listen...

to whom it may concern:

i am having a major problem with a co-worker of mine. she is always trying to make me look bad and to take all the credit for projects that i have done, but if something goes wrong, she makes sure that i automatically get blamed. when she started off working with the company, she was all buddy buddy with me, trying to be super nice, but i was always hesitant. my instincts were telling me to look out for her, and i was right. she snoops on my computer and bad mouths me to our bosses (who happen to be her parents in law). so now i am stuck working every day in a VERY small office with a person who is clearly trying to make sure that i am eliminated. i am about two seconds away from punching this girl in the face each time that i see her, but i am more concerned that i have to go to work every day in a toxic environment.

i guess the question i am posing to you is: how should i deal with this situation? i can't tell my bosses, because they will just ask her about it, and she will most likely lie. plus, she is family, and even though i have been working for the company for much MUCH longer, they will most likely be loyal to her. plus, i don't want to be a tattle tale and stoop to her level. i need a mature way to deal with this situation...otherwise it's 'pow! straight to the moon', which may be satisfying in the moment, but it will not produce the outcome i would prefer.

sincerely,

eternally frustrated and under-appreciated

delicious dishes...

if you love to cook as much as i do, then you might enjoy this blog...

great pictures.

great recipes.

sassy commentary.

love it.

help name the pup!

we have narrowed it down to mischka or juneau, what do you think?

is she a juneau?

or is she a mischka?

why i love my friends...

they make my life better by sending me text messages such as the following:

"True story! This flight attendant had a lady on her plane with a chihuahua and the dog was going all crazy and then suddenly was quiet. so she goes back to see what was going on and the owner was breast feeding her dog! So sick!"

after i got done throwing up, i had to admit, that was pretty damn funny.

i miss rocket...

rocket was my chinchilla (or as my good friend, chris krey, affectionately called him-the chimichanga) that ran away. i want to get another one, because they are so freaking cute!!!!!!

i mean, really, how can you resist this face?

if this little nugget isn't a tiny fragment of perfection, then i don't know what is...

i found this little guy listed on craigslist...so i hope a good family adopts him.

can this be real?!!!

dear hawaii,

hi, it's your friend october. i know it's been a while since we've last seen each other, but i thought i'd pay you a visit the day after tomorrow. i promise to bring with me some fall swells and more temperate weather. i'm just hoping you have time to squeeze me in for some quality time before the impending holidays. cause once i'm gone...we all know it's a landslide into the new year.

looking forward to the triple crown...

in honor of wet wednesdays...

in addition to being one of my favorite artists, jason mraz has an amazing blog on his website. he's a very talented writer, and a big advocate for living green and water conservation. lately, i've really been enjoying his 'wet wednesday' entries. they're dedicated to educating people on how we can do our part to save this precious resource.

so buy local.

conserve water.

remember: "the constant dripping of water wears away the stone" -sufi proverb

this might be too hard to resist...

so i occasionally cruise craigslist (who doesn't) looking for useless things to waste my money on. and i found this advertisement...

are you kidding me?! a german shepherd. in laie. it's so tempting...

i might have to go and check it out after work...

here's the day i hoped would never come...

my macbook is dead...well dying. it froze yesterday and then when i tried to re-boot it it would only make the welcome noise, and then go to a gray screen. i tried EVERYTHING to try and fix it, including doing a 'safe start' and going through the 'fsck' thing where you manually enter the code commands into the computer. hopefully i'll be able to take it to the apple store, and they can at least get the contents of my hard drive off of it. she is three years old, and i guess i'm due for a new computer anyways.

in the meantime, i have been sublimating my anger towards the computer gods with these:

they're called veggie straws and they're delicious.

somebody to love...

ever since we had to return our little friend back to her owners, i have been craving some puppy love...so can someone please talk some sense into me, and tell me why i can't get a dog right now?!!! to be truthful, i have always been a cat person, but not opposed to dogs. i think the only reason i might not have cared for them is because once my mom got one, she tended to treat it slightly better than me. the best part about it was that she would tell me, to my face, why she loved and preferred the dog over me. but seriously, at the risk of turning into my mother, i want one!!!!

i was thinking maybe a border collie would be fun...

or possibly a husky or malamute...

but i think i'll probably go for a german shepherd. i mean who can resist a face like this?

plus, they're really smart and beautiful

and who knows? they might end up liking indy this much:

'what makes us different makes us beautiful'...

i heart this movie a whole lot

well mostly james mcavoy, who plays, in my opinion, the perfect man.

witty. musical. passionate. humble. charming.

my roommate, the beauty queen...

here is an excerpt from an actual conversation i had yesterday with one of my lovely roommates:

her: so if you could be from any country in the world, where would you be from?

me: south africa

her: (rolling her eyes) no, no, i said what country

me: south africa

her: that's a region. i meant what country in that area...

me: again, south africa, you know, where the next summer olympics are going to be held? apartheid, cape town, johannesburg, amazing surf, is any of this ringing a bell?

her: wait, that's a country?

i won't give you the pleasure of divulging which roommate i had this glorious conversation with, but needless to say that we all had a good laugh over it.

just when i thought i was free...

today when i was getting out of the water at puena point and i heard these magic words:

'excuse me, is this where you can see the turtles?'

it's been over a year since i stopped working at ola at turtle bay, and i have to admit, sometimes i miss it. BUT i do not miss constantly having to answer an endless amount of mindless questions from innocent tourists.

now let me explain something to you non-hawaii dwellers:

turtles are wild animals, and go where they please. therefore it is hard to pin point their exact location and predict where they will be at any given time. asking about where you can see turtles is about as useless as me coming up to you, while i'm on vacation on the mainland, and asking where i can see a squirrel.

so please stop asking when they come out, how many there are, and if the chicken sandwich is served on bread....sorry, i digress...

but seriously, just let these little guys be...

would you rather?

would you rather have a roommate who wears fake hair extensions and hangs them out to dry, after washing them, on the towel rack in the bathroom

or

would you rather sit next to a girl, in relief society, who is ripping out her hair extensions and trying to discretely place them in her purse

sadly, i have had to live through them both.

I have a stalker...

so i had a little friend follow me home on my walk the other day, and we became insta-friends:

don't worry, i still love indy. however, i have a feeling he is somewhat less than amused...

nous nageons dans in flac du merte

one of my favorite lines from a truly awful movie. however, i feel it is descriptive of my current state. i feel like i have been so up and down lately. i see all my friends getting engaged, married, or having children of their own...it makes me think i should be falling in line with them, even though i am no where near being ready to do so. (plus there's the whole lack of any guy that would be suitable, but that's an entirely different post, as this one is already angsty enough).

i need a distraction!!!!!! i think that maybe the reason why i'm so anxious to start a family of my own, is because i don't really have the greatest relationship with my own parents. it's not like i want to show them up or anything, although nothing would give me greater joy than to say to my mother, 'wow, it is possible to have a relationship with you daughter without wanting to kill each other'.

the truth of the matter is, i don't mind waiting until i'm 30, 40, or even 50 to get married and to start a family. i just need the confirmation that the universe is going to send another good one my way. one that i won't scare off with my alarming neuroses and remarkable self involvement.

it's what keeps me going...

i had a facebook chat with my friend sean, the other day. he's a fellow hawaii alum from back in the glory days, who happens to currently be stationed in iraq with the marines. he's divorced, and about six years older than me (i'll let you do the math). so i figured he would be the perfect person to shed some light on my current relationship problems. here is the advice he gave me as he patiently listened to my ramblings about my inability to find the right guy:

use your time to improve yourself and accomplish things and have adventures and you will cross paths with someone who appreciates that...

but at the same time be careful not to become so independent that you can't adapt to another life you might not expect

i'm glad that i am fortunate enough to not only have friends that will listen to my problems, but who can also still manage to have a positive outlook on life, even if they have been dealt a bad hand in the past.

i can't help it, i'm obsessed...

what is it about a really catchy pop song that just makes me want to put it on repeat 60 or 80 times in a row?

therapy though cooking

so i just had to go and see the new movie julie and julia yesterday, and it was fabulous! i may be speaking as a novice foodie, myself, but i LOVED it. there were so many parts that i could relate to, which in my present state really helped me to gain some perspective on my current status in life.

i wish i could have identified more with julia child's story, living a fabulous life in paris, revolutionizing the culinary world by making french cooking accessible to americans. but to be truthful, it was the life of julie powell, a self described cubicle worker who found herself drowning where julia child's book pulled her out of the ocean, that i found myself relating to. my favorite part was when julie was speaking with her husband, and she said something to the affect of: no matter what kind of day i've had and when nothing has gone right, i know that i can come home and mix egg yolks, chocolate, cream, and sugar and make a delicious chocolate cream pie. cooking was therapeutic to her. it was a way to escape, and something that she could depend on.

this got me thinking...what if someone offered individual cooking classes as an alternative to stereotypical therapy? i think there would be some merit to it, as it can re-enforce life skills, such as following instructions and encourage creativity, and what better medium to communicate with others than over food. is there anything else that can bring people together like a good meal? do you think people would pay for this type of recreational therapy as opposed to traditional one on one sessions?

web cam perversion

why is it every time i go to check the turtle bay webcam to look at the surf, there happens to be some pervy guy in 'control' of the webcam checking out girls at the pool?

at least now i know why it's one of the 'top rated webcams'...

damn you taylor swift

i hate to admit it, but your new song 'you belong with me' perfectly captures my current angst...

are movies actually getting better?

not to mention the new sherlock holmes with robert downey jr. coming out this christmas...

reasoning with bureaucrats and other worthless dalliances...

dear acs helpline:

i realize that you receive a high volume of phone calls, most likely with frantic, hair brained case managers calling because they are frustrated with your new billing system. however, limiting your callers to three questions each, after they have navigated your labyrinth-like automated answering service to get to an actual person, is absurd. so when i call and have four things i have to discuss with one of your representatives, it is frustrating for me to have to hang up, after having exhausted my first three requests, and start all over just to answer my last inquiry.

thanks for your consideration.

next time, i'm calling the coconut express

number of times i drove people to town and back from laie this past weekend: 2

number of miles i put on my car from said excursions: 200

amount of gas money received: $2

sorry kids, taylor's taxi service is officially closed for business.

summer movie worth seeing...

don't miss this movie!

big isle beauty...

from my second trip to the big isle...