where are you christmas?

this year's christmas was spent in hawaii, not unlike the past five years or so. i'm pretty much used to spending it sans family, which some people may look at as 'sad', but for me, it has always been more pleasurable to spend it with what friends i have had out here than to go and spend it with my resentful mother...but i digress. this year was just another sign, in a long line of signals from the cosmos that i should leave hawaii. don't get me wrong, i love hawaii, it has been a great place to live, and i feel truly blessed to have had the opportunity to be here for as long as i have, but this year's christmas felt...different. in addition to apparently not having any job karma coming my way, i also have no housing karma-even though over the years i have let countless number of people crash at my place, even if they were people that i didn't know at all. when it comes down to it, if people are really in need, i have no problem helping them out. now that i have been, technically, homeless since the 19th, i have not been able to find a solid place that i can stay at.

i guess i just expect more from people. it's not because i feel entitled, but it's the fact that i feel that they should dip into their compassion for others, especially around the holidays, in a predominantly lds church community...

in light of certain recent events, this year has gone to crap. and i keep telling myself that next year will be better. however, that's what i said last year, and i've tried to keep an optimistic attitude, so it's not a self fulfilling prophecy. so here's hoping that this year will be better than the last...