in a state of constant awe

so in addition to all the antics from crazy people that i generally have to put up with at my little office job, i also have the 'pleasure' of having my ear talked off, or have to listen to others get their ears talked off by my co-worker when they call our office.  (one of my personal favorite moves is when she is on her cell phone, and the office phone will ring, and she'll hand the phone to me, and ask if i can answer it.  this is usually after she shows up at least 30 minutes late.  this is closely followed by when she is on the office phone with one of her friends, and someone will call on the other line, she'll click over and ask them on hold while she goes back to her conversation!)  

well, the subject du jour happens to be her VERY dramatic relationship with her boyfriend.  i have to admit, he seems like a pretty decent guy. he has a god job, takes care of her, and puts up with all of her crap.  yet he still sticks around, even though she treats him very poorly, and i give him credit for that.  so it breaks my heart to hear her vent to her friends on the phone, while on the clock btw, about what a crappy boyfriend he is, and how he always wants to dwell on things that have gone wrong in the past and that she's being picked on, when he is just trying to convey some constructive criticism.  then she'll start brining up things that annoy her about him too, and remind him that she has a lot of 'ammo' on him.  like that she'll show his mother all these things so prove that he's not the 'perfect boyfriend' that he is presenting himself as.  i swear, when i hear about their fights, all she does is try and provoke him and push his buttons.  my favorite thing that she says, behind his back, is that he makes her ex-husband look not so bad.  just to paint you a picture, her ex-husband, who she is still very much in contact with, happens to do drugs and is suicidal, and as a result, should probably be a client of ours.  she says that her ex used to just let her do whatever she wanted whenever she (which i have no doubt in my mind, was self destructive behavior) and that as a result they 'never fought'.   

in my opinion, they never fought, because from what i can gather, her ex was a doormat who let her be the dominant one in their relationship.   i guess it's hard not to appreciate someone who can be that passive, but i have to say that i would get tired of being waited on and agreed with. to a certain extent, it feels nice to have someone who will check up on me and make sure that i am safe and making the right choices.  i believe that there are certain sparks of passion that can only be ignited through conflict and resolving it.  it makes a relationship stronger if you can make it through those trials, but if one person is always passive, then there is no give and take, and that can lead to resentment.  

i think that is where the root of my coworker's relationship problems lie:  she is unwilling to compromise and become the person she could be if she truly wants her relationship to move forward, because she is holding on too tightly to who she was in her previous relationship.  in her eyes, it's about power and being the one who's in control.  but the reality is that it's not always about who's right, or wrong, and it's not about who has more dirt on the other person, or who has the last word.  it's about learning to accept others flaws and taking people for who they are, and seeing how we are reflected in their eyes.  because it's those tiny fragments of perfection that we remember, and hold on to until the end.